Friday night, Chandler moments

My life is full of Chandler moments (non-fans of Friends, here’s where you get off this post).

Okay, so my life is full of Chandler moments. The sort where he makes a really smart wisecrack every time something even vaguely funny – or downright unfunny – happens. This makes him interesting, hilarious & popular (well, not as popular as Joey is with the ladies, but still fair-enough-popular). And my life is just like that – except, all those wisecracks only occur to me after they should have. Like yesterday.

Out for an evening of unwinding with friends, I spied a kitten under one of the tables (no, it’s not that I unwind at the local pet hotel; it’s just that the Press Club has a terrace sit-out with a long history of resident felines). So of course I went off to meet her & convince her to spend some quality time at (not under) our table as well. Though I generally am rather patient with this sort of thing, I guess I made a false move yesterday. Instead of hovering just close enough for her to either accept or reject my advances (at the most colouring her judgment with a saucer of milk), I made a rapid advance & tried to force her to see what nice people we were. Of course that had the exact opposite effect of the one intended & she scampered off into some dark recess where my probing fingers & entreating hands could not find her.

Anyhow, as I returned dejected to my chair, we saw her again! Technically, it was a pink inquisitive nose that we saw, but naturally we assumed that the rest of her was right behind. Since she was closer this time to A, I asked him to do the needful & entreat her, once more, to sit down to drinks (think milk!) with us. In retrospect, I don’t think he could have been quite too keen to have her around, coz he said: “You want me to get her? You mean, like, pounce on her?” (The reference, obviously, was to my previous unfruitful sortie into this territory). Now, what do you think any self-respecting Chandler would have said to this? (Yes, that’s the point of this story!)

So Chandler would have said: “No No! I already tried that once – and it doesn’t work! You try something new, bro!”

But – you guessed it – it never occurred to me. Not until I was on the train home when, just for consolation, I said it (aloud) to the woman next to me: “No no, it doesn’t work, you try something new!” Just for the record, she was scratching her head with her pen, trying to crack a crossword clue.

So now there are 7 people in this city who think I’m a complete nutcase (there’s got to be more but I’m not that good at keeping track of the numbers).

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