Sunday surprise!

Sunday evenings depress me like even Monday morning can’t. I mean, it’s The End of a Golden Age of Wasteful Lethargy, of indulging in all the Seven Deadly Sins, and then some. (Are there any non-deadly sins, by the way?)

So I met up with D & S last evening. It took quite an effort to convince my lazy, depressed self to Just Go, but the evening turned out to be rather fun! This, despite all the guy-bashing we indulged in before S arrived. Oh, and by ‘we’, I mean D & me (I would say ‘D & I’ but that would just confuse all you people who have to make do with initials in place of Christian names).

But before all that happened, she & I first checked out the action at Globus. Not coz we liked what the shop windows had to offer or anything; it’s just something of a ritual with us. If it’s Eternity Mall, it’s gotta be browsing-Globus first. (I had phrased this sentence differently but ‘browsing-Globus’ has such a nice ‘finding-Nemo’ ring to it, don’t you think?)

This time, the store pleasantly surprised us by offering discounts of “up to 50%” (which, as every shopper knows, means: “Remember that one utterly disgusting extinct-animal-printed scarf you saw here 3 years ago? Well, we’re giving that away at a super bargain price of just 5000 bucks! Is your Sunday made or what?!”)

Anyway, so D picked out this okish red kurti/ top with a black pattern around the neck (sorry, my descriptions for such things remain vague out of necessity…I don’t really know or care what the nice black pattern around the neck was). The piece seemed quite all right until we checked out the price tag. It was soo not worth it! That little bit of cardboard scared us right out of the Ethnics & propelled us straight into Accessories. The rest of the browsing went off without incident, though we eventually did leave with our wallets – and our indignity – intact.

Upstairs at the food court, over a plate of spring roll dosa (yum!), we got into the usual collective-introspection-into-our-life-and-relationships session. This part is something of a fixture, also known as: ‘Would-we make-the-guy-happier-by-just-dumping-him?’ session.

By the time we were done with the dosa & had downed one large cold coffee each (Barista, good as always), the mood had turned boisterous with loud giggling, stupid jokes, and hilarious (to us!) one-liners.

And then S joined in, taking the party to a whole new level. With him, there was much CAT, no-work-experience-but-MBA(!) & IIM bashing (for the record, he’s 22, has no work experience but has completed one year of his MBA at IIM Lucknow. And obviously, he got in by scoring rather well in the dreaded, math-oriented CAT). Talk about ammunition to attack! 

Anyway, among the memorable lines I came up with, was one I consider a gem:

D: Hey, order a coffee with ice cream already! You’re obviously lusting after it!

Me (sighing lustfully): Do you even know how many calories are in it?!

D: But you’re thin! You can afford it!

Me: But you don’t understand! I can because I don’t!

[Loud laughter, courtesy me, while the two of them just looked on with sullen faces]

So, to save the situation, I narrated a fantastic Stevie Wonder-in-China joke. It’s my current favorite – remind me to tell you sometime. The best part is, I do a great job of imitating a Chinese accent – no, really, I do – and it’s absolutely essential for this joke! Okay, I bet you really want to hear it right now! So, without further ado…here it is:

Stevie Wonder is playing his 1st gig in China and the place is packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice, he asks if anyone has a request.

One chap jumps out of his seat in the 1st row and shouts at the top of his voice: “Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!”

Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie’s career, the blind impresario starts to play an E Minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes. When he finishes, the whole place goes wild.

The chap jumps out of his seat again and shouts: “No, no, play a jazz chord, play a jazz chord…!”

A bit cheesed off by this, Stevie, being the professional he is, dives straight into a jazz improvisation around the B Flat Minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes ballistic with this impromptu show of his musical expertise. But still the little Chinese man jumps up again and shouts: No, no! Play a jazz chord, play a jazz chord!”

Stevie is really peeved off now that this chap doesn’t seem to appreciate his playing ability and shouts to him from the stage: “OK smart a**, you get up here and do it!”

The little bloke climbs onto the stage, takes hold of the mike, and starts to sing:

“A jazz chord…to say…I ruv you…”

[Loud laughter, courtesy everyone around!]

And a funny koala bear joke as well…but that one can wait.

Anyway, so the evening passed rather unexpectedly well (considering I’d started off being a little apprehensive about D & S getting along). In the end, D even dropped me all the way home! And S came along for the ride. Nice of them, eh? 🙂

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Where O Where do the weekends go?

It’s one thing to start a blog, quite another to sustain it. That’s my takeaway from the last few days’ neglect of this space. I mean, it’s great when you actually start writing, but before that, it takes loads of motivation for a lazy Virgo to get down to brass tacks (or to her laptop, as the case is).

Anyway, to recap. I’ve had a hectic week at work. And to top it, there are social commitments over the weekend as well! Why O why do people have to want to see me? Or to invite me to any important occasions in their life? Or wish to break bread or sip coffee with me?

Maybe I should indeed consider the reclusive life up in the Himalayas. Maybe I could paint or start a tiny patisserie on that pretty Mall Road in Mussoorie (actually, no – I can’t bake pots. Or bake anything else, for that matter).

I know! I could always teach English to kids in a monastery or write a book or something. Maybe I will, sometime soon.

Meanwhile, don’t get me wrong – I love having friends. As a close friend put it, “There are so many men whose minds I would like to mate with!” In my case, this extends to minds both male & female. I love the process of collaboratively creating pointless stories, endlessly debating issues of national and international importance (such as, the ‘love’ story of Napoleon & Josephine), and so on. Only thing, it should all be on good ole’ gtalk. Guess I do really belong to the nerdy, boring, wired generation.

Here’s the thing though. I love to spend time with almost all these people once I actually get there. Before that, however, it just seems like a chore to me (no, make that a Chore). The showering, the getting-dressed, the planning-what-to-wear…everything!

My ideal weekend will be one spent in a mountain range full of easy peaks to scale, which allows me plenty of solitude and greenery. There’s only one caveat: I should be magically transported to said place with no planning, packing or effort required at my end. Such things don’t really happen, do they? *Sigh* More’s the pity!

So, things being as they are, this weekend finds me gearing up to attend a friend-cum-colleague’s wedding all the way in Powai. Before that, there’s the mandatory salon visit lined up. And of course The Draping Of The Sari. Which is one process so utterly beyond me that I always need mommy to help me out. But tonight, that’s gonna be problematic too – she’s got a work meeting to attend and is likely to leave me high and dry (or alone and frustrated with 6 yards of shimmery, slippery and spinning-out-of-control fabric!) Sob!

To make it worse, N has declined an invitation to be my escort for the evening (yes, again! After years of wooing me, is he now playing hard-to-get or what?!).

Anyway, so let’s see now. I have no inclination to visit the salon on such a HOT afternoon, no one to dress me & no one to drive me in style to the venue and back! No wonder my mind is working out ways to avoid the whole thing altogether. Fall sick? Be honest, tell the truth, and back out gracefully? Tell the boss I won’t be there coz there’s no way I’m coming back alone so late? (A liberated, independent woman like me!) As always, I’m lost.

But somewhere deep within, I know I am gonna go today. Else, every time we’re out taking a post-lunch walk and she talks about her Big Day, I will feel about as big as my ‘Reasons for not making it’ are, today. Ah well, not such a good idea being a nice person, is it?

So that’s decided then. I am going. Somehow. Just called the salon lady to come over to my place instead. At least that’s one Chore off my mind.

But this is just Saturday! Tomorrow I have a brunch plan with S as well as a lunch date with D. There goes all my eagerly-awaited weekend 😦 

So, did I tell you A called? She tied the knot less than a month ago and is now back from her honeymoon in Italy. The hour-long phone call culminated in the setting-up of a lunch date. Well, that takes care of next Saturday then…


Update: Didn’t go. Nope, just did not.